Jake and Mike Videogame Show

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So I’m writing this before the podcast was even recorded, but guess what? It doesn’t even matter because I can say with 100% certainty that this was the single greatest Jake and Mike ever recorded!(I’m very confident in our ability to recall things we’ve done and then say those things into microphones) I can also say with 100% certainty that Jake and I started kissing at one point in this podcast and had to edit it out so we wouldn’t seem gay. I can say this because it happens every week, and I’ve gotten used to it by now( the kissing part, the editing is a hard thing to get used to) a lot of you might have thought it was because I have psychic powers, but you’d be wrong ( I do have psychic powers though, I’m just not using them to see the future. That’d just be silly. What is this, an episode of Fringe?!)

Anyways… I can also say that we talked about Kane and Lynch 2: Dog days, Dead Rising: Case Zero and  Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light (AKA the new Lara Croft game, AKA Dos El-Crofto gigante, AKA Rock Band 3) I would imagine many systematic and informationaly hilarious things were said, most likely by me, but I bet Jake had a few gems of his own as well. (Not really, that dude isn’t funny (Just kidding, He’s really funny (I’m lying about thinking he’s funny(No I’m not, he’s funny(No(Yes))))

So enjoy this episode a day earlier, and consider it to be one of those things that is given to you a day early (Jake is handsome, and So am I. We’re both really handsome. Just ask our mothers.)

-(MS)Mike out.

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They said it couldn’t be done. BUT WE LOOKED AT THEM AND SAID, “You think we can’t record a podcast with just downloadable titles!! Ones like Scott Pilgrim Vs The world: The Game, Castlevania: Harmony despair and Monday Night Combat, WELL GET READY FOR IT TO HAPPEN!!!” and then we were all like, doing it and stuff and the world was forever proven wrong!!

And then bam, we did it. You ready for it?! ARE YOU?!?!?! Then your prayers are about to be answered!!!

-(MS)Mike out.

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TRANSFORMERS WAR FOR CYBERTRON!!! PUZZLE QUEST 2!!! THE NEW SIN AND PUNISHMENT GAME!!!! THE SUMMER OF ARCADE ON XBLA!!!!!

So, did that get your attention peons? GOOD! Mwahahahahah!

As you can see above we mention the fun we had with the new Sin and Punishment, Transformers and Puzzle quest games as well as why were so effin’ excited for the Summer of Arcade on XBLA.

Sounds awesome right? Oh well believe me, it’s every bit as good as it sounds….you know what, I feel dirty now. Lying to you like that. This isn’t a good episode at all…We talk about games, and make jokes and open and close with catchy music!!!! Oh wait, those things are all good? NEVER MIND! I wasn’t lying after all, huzzah!!

-(MS)Mike out.

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Were back into the old swing of things with E3 done and over with and Jake and I getting back to telling you guys what we’ve been playing. And what HAVE we been playing, you ask?

Were talking up Alpha Protocol, Rock Band: Green Day, Blur, Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker, Breath of Death VII and Protect Me Knight, among a few other things.

Clean your ears and put on those headphones jerks, because it’s time for the Em Effin’ Jake and Mike Videogame Show Episode 33!!!

-(MS)Mike out.

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Once Upon a time, There were two boys that loved video games veeeeeeery much. In fact, they loved them so much that they spent an hour every other week telling people how much they loved them. One week, the two boys decided they were going to talk about Dead to Rights: Retribution, The deal that Activision made with Bungie, and the evil and wicked Monster Hunter Tri.

After they finished talking about those things, people were so happy that they made them their kings. And they lived happily ever after…. That was until being co-king wasn’t good enough for Jake anymore and he killed Mike in cold blood.

The End

(Having trouble reading this? Click for a larger version)

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Im not sure what else there is to say other than check this thing out for a nice amount of nostalgia, commentary and back and forth about Jake and I’s favorites, least favorites and honorable mentions from 2009. It’s a really good listen and prolly the most fun I’ve had recording one of these since we started! Enjoy!

-(MS)Mike out.

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You think you’re sooooo cool don’t you? Well, just because you listen to The Jake and Mike VGS podcast, the worlds best video game podcast, that doesn’t mean you’re better then everyone else.

I mean yes, their opinions trump those of any and all reputable sources in the video game industry. And, yes, They are not only handsome, but they have their fingers constantly on the pulse of the community at large and are always here to report the greatness.

Hell, this week they even talk about Gyromancer, Assassins Creed 2, Left 4 Dead 2 and Zombie Shooter 2, but still, that isn’t enough to make a listener of this podcast better then everyone else.

So just get over it, and quit trying to tell everyone how great Jake and Mike are…. Everybody else already knows they’re great. Get over it.

-Mike Out

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So lets be straight here people, we know that this podcast is amazing, you know this podcast is amazing and former democratic Arizona senator Carl Hayden knows this podcast is amazing……

BUT SOMEHOW WE TOPPED IT AND MADE IT EVEN BETTER!!!

How you ask? Well…we talked about video games. Yeah, I know that sounds like what we always do, but we do it way better this time.

We talk about Dead Space: Extraction, Uncharted 2 and we touch on Brutal Legend and Borderlands as well.

Give this piece a listen and hit up your hoe for some suck! (which is street for “Listen to our quality podcast, please!”)

-(MS)Mike out.

For a bit of comedic nostalgia, we bestow upon you this gamefly game review for Dead Space: Extraction, a game we didnt play. (As always, you can click for a larger version)

-Jake and Mike

I forgot to mention that I am working on a review for a new game that is coming out soon. It is called Daisy Fuentes Pilates. It is the spiritual successor to the Power Stone games I think. Look for that soon.

jake

PS Don’t ever read a PS. They are usually lame. If it was important it wouldn’t be a PS.

So it is that time again, time for a fake review from your pals Jake and Mike. This one will get pulled instantly. I am sure of it. If you have gamefly make sure you go on and give positive feedback to this review and the one Mike will put up in a few minutes. We love you. Man.

(Having trouble reading the review? Click it for a larger version.)

So as you can see, it was just as Jake and I thought, It really is that easy. All I had to do is say what people wanna hear and they flock like sheep to a game I reviewed but didn’t even play.

We’re gonna keep going until we make my account a top reviewer account and I think it won’t take long at all after seeing this, Mwahahahah!!

-(MS)Mike out

If you have been watching the site you may have seen the fake reviews we have been putting up on gamefly that are just nonsense. We are going to keep doing those because we think they are hilarious in their absurdity, but now, we are also going to try to take Mike’s gamefly account and make him on of the top reviewers on gamefly. We are still going to be reviewing games we have NOT played but,  these reviews will be the exact opposite of our other reviews. They will be pandering to the games crowd so strongly that people will hopefully agree with them. I’m sure they wont be as funny or interesting as our fake “joke” reviews but I am more interested in seeing if we can make Mike’s account a “top reviewer” on the site, purely by saying what people want to hear. We will have one up soon.

Jake (mike is right next to me so i will put this) and Mike

-(MS)Mike out

Here is the first Gamefly review.

I really like how it turned out and Mike was here to help me add little bit of “stupid gamefly user” flavor. I have decided to hire Mike full time to help me with these reviews.

And so am I. I see these reviews or ratings for games on Gamefly.com for games that just came out. There are people who gave Bionic Commando and Punch Out a rating already… These games came out yesterday and today. In retaliation for these preemptive game scores I will be writing fake reviews for games I haven’t played yet. I will post each review on the site and at Gamefly.com. I will rate every game a “10″ even though I haven’t played it. I will tell you my favorite boss fights, my favorite weapons, and my problems with the control scheme. Have fun reading bullshit.

-Jake

I guess the first thing to say about any Dynasty Warriors game is, there’s no such thing as indifference with the games. You either love ‘em, or hate them. Personally, I’ve always liked them so let that be known throughout my little game-time run-around here.

Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 2 (DW:G2 as it will henceforth be referred to) is the second game in the Dynasty Warrior franchise spin-off set in the world of Gundam (Pretty much every series of gundam is represented). It has you wading through waves and waves of all the Zakus and Quebleys you can, and may, ever need to cut down in their prime and squaring off against all sorts of Gundam notables. (continue reading…)

So I recently gamefly’d (I’ve got a trademark on that term by the way so if you use it you owe me a nickel) the PSP game Resistance: Retribution and had a pretty interesting experience with it.

The game itself is a pretty standard 3rd person shooter with a cover mechanic. You move from area to area shooting enemies, taking cover, solving small environmental puzzles and mowing down enemies with AI controlled squads every once in a while. There were a bunch of weapons that all kept up Insomniacs design by having awesome secondary fire modes that were as unique as they were fun. Graphically the game was stunning for a PSP title and really showed that that little machine is capable of. From the lighting to the character models and environments, it was easily on par with graphic intensive PSP titles like Crisis Core and God of War.

So with all that good stuff to say, why would I send the game back after only 3 days and without beating it?  Well, the game suffered from its ambitiousness, sadly. Lemme give you the complaints list… (continue reading…)